Grooming

A couple weeks ago, I was relaxing watching on the couch with The BF, enjoying The Real Housewives, without a care in the world.  I stretched my leg up, and The BF went to grab it, “Careful, I said… I haven’t shaved.”  His reply? “You never shave.” I looked at him.  What was THAT supposed to mean? “You’re mean!” I said.   But then I thought about it… He wasn’t mean.  Unfortunately, he was right.  I tried to shake it off, but a week later, after he called me from across the apartment by shouting, “Hey , hairy legs!”  I realized there was a real issue at hand.  A hairy situation, if you will 😉

In the old pre-move in days, I would come up to NYC without a hair on my body, but I do have to admit that after a couple of months of living together, and seeing each other day in and day out… I have let some of my old grooming habits go. I still get my eyebrows threaded every two weeks ( a must to keep this unibrow at bay), but I am not so diligent about other areas.  The BF still manscapes regularly, but that’s different… right? I tried to rationalize it…I work and I’m a full time student!  And it’s starting to get cold! Who has time to shave every day (or even every other day), but once every 2 weeks I do have to agree is unacceptable.  There has to be a happy medium… but what?  Ladies- or any gentleman that comes across this page.  I am taking a poll… how often should one shave?  Reasonably.

Alarm Clock Etiquette

A huge part of living in sin is sharing a bedroom.  The BF and I live in a one bedroom apartment.  In NYC space is a huge issue, and our one bedroom apartment is no exception.  A lot of issues arise from sharing this important room: closet space is an issue, making the bed is an issue, and the alarm clock is an issue.  The alarm clock is actually a BIG issue.  Inevitably, one of us always has to get up earlier than the other, and, also inevitably, the other person always ends up waking up as well.  Is there a way this can be avoided?  What should we do- what are the rules?  The the alarm clock rules- what is proper alarm clock etiquette?

When I get up early, I set my alarm for the ACTUAL time I am going to get up.  If I need to be up by 6, I set the alarm for 6, and when the alarm starts beeping, I turn off the alarm (right away of course) and actually get out of bed- as quietly and quickly as possible.  The BF on the other hand is a snoozer.  I think we all can guess what that means, but I will paint the picture in case there is a reader that does not.  FIRST The alarm goes off at 6…. and continues to go off for at least a minute.  Finally, (usually after I cry out, “You seriously don’t hear that?”) he fumbles around and presses a button… the snooze button. Then again at 6:15 the alarm goes off again… for another minute, and then there is a replay of the previous situation described above.  Fumbling and pressing the same button,  the snooze button.  Then a third time, now at 6:30 the alarm goes off-  I don’t know what happens after this because by now I am completely awake. I’ve gotten up to take a shower, even if I have nowhere to go, because there is no way that I can go back to sleep.  Now, you may be thinking, “Isn’t he going to be late?”  The answer is no… because The BF, for some reason I don’t believe I will ever understand, sets his alarm at least two hours earlier than he needs to.  Now, maybe I’m not being fair, but this routine is clearly not working for me.  I end up waking up much earlier than I need to, I’m tired, and I can’t go back to sleep.

So, now back to the original question what is the proper alarm clock etiquette?  The adult way is probably to talk about it and decide together what to do when one person needs to get up earlier than the other, but early in the morning, when you are bleary eyed and groggy, these conversations tend to be forgotten.  It’s a conundrum-but it’s a problem that NEEDS to be solved… immediately if possible, does anyone have a clue what to do?

Friends

I once went to a wedding where the groom announced, “And now Her (his new wife) friends are my friends.”  He said it so confidently, like it was FACT.  But is it true?  Granted, I’m not married, but I am living with my significant other…so for now we will pretend it’s the same thing. But back to the issue, do my boyfriend and I have to have the same friends?  Do my friends have to be his friends and vice versa?  We already share an apartment, dishes, furniture, chores (in theory, but that’s another post) do we have to share our friends too?  When you are living in sin (or married) is there anything that can be just yours and yours alone?  I’m not talking about having secret rendez-vous, but what about a good old fashioned ladies night?  A girls night (or day) out? Is that allowed?

Also, a more serious issue… what if you don’t like each others friends?  I’m not saying the whole crew, but there is always the one that is a bit… how should we say.. a bit much.  The BM, for short.  You know exactly who I am talking about.  Your girl who’s favorite topic is the lack of eligible black men and wants everyone and anyone around to listen to her list of grievances on the subject, or his friend that sits a little too close and whose hugs seems to last just a few seconds too long. The BMs.  Do they really have to be your friends?  Do you have to hang out with them, more than say the occasional party with enough people to duck and hide behind so that you don’t have to spend more than a few moments with The BM without looking like you are avoiding them.  It’s a tricky line to attempt to navigate.  If a relationship is all about compromise, what’s the compromise here?  Who has to give up something? And what what does that person have to give up?

First Official Post

So… when I first started talking about writing this blog and giving my friends a taste of what I would be posting I got one general response.  It sounds so negative, and when I thought about it, they were right.  Mostly the things I’d been thinking of posting about were pretty negative.  However, to start of my blog I have something GREAT to post about.  I’ll start from the beginning…

I wasn’t doing much at work, per usual as faithful readers will come to learn, and so I decided to start my blog during my lunch break.  I was having a bit of a shitty day and I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, and to my surprise ,at the end of the day I realized, by hearing another co-worker announce it, that I had a meeting after work.  The meeting ran long, as they always seem to do, and I realized I left my keys in the apartment, and I missed my train back into the city.  Then when I finally did get a train, I had to sit by the bathroom to boot.  Awesome trip to say the least.  When I finally got back to the apartment, I leaned on the doorbell, and when the BF opened the door he seemed a bit…on edge.  After my welcome home kiss, he announced that he had something he HAD to tell me.  To be honest, my first thoughts were SHIT… WTF could it be.  The following options raced through my mind: he crashed the car, our rent checks bounced, he threw away some of my clothes to make more space in the closet.  It could be any one of these things.  However the surprise was…DRUM ROLL- he made dinner!  Not only did he make dinner- but he made my favorite: salmon, which we usually don’t buy because 1) it’s expensive and 2) the BF is allergic. As I inhaled my portion, I realize a huge plus to living in sin is that I always have someone to come home to, who usually is happy to see me, and sometimes can even turn my whole day around with a thoughtful gesture.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  As you will see from this blog, living in sin definitely has its ups AND downs, but today was an up and, I thought, the perfect start to my blog.

Welcome!

Living in SIN?!?!  What is this about?  Well… I’ll let you know.  I recently moved in with my boyfriend into a one bedroom apartment in Harlem.  Whenever I went out with the girls I’d have PLENTY to dish about the unexpected pitfalls and perks of having your significant other with you (nearly) 24/7.  At the nail salon, my girl, S, as she will be known to the blog world, suggested mid-laugh that I should start a blog.  And I thought, hmmm… why not?  After talking to all my girls and my mom, I got to hear plenty of reasons why I shouldn’t start a blog.  Some of them include: Do you want the WORLD to know your BUSINESS? (mom).  What is you make him feel bad (sensitive friend), and a really scary one, What if you break up? (lots of people)  I’ve decided those aren’t reason enough to stop me from this blog, but it IS enough to make this blog anonymous, or at least semi- anonymous.  So, PLEASE come back and read what it’s like to be Livin’ In Sin, the Harlem Edition.